


Sometimes Dead is Better

by lacesonmydress



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Violence, Demonic Possession, Demons, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Pet Sematary Universe, exhumation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:08:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27304630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lacesonmydress/pseuds/lacesonmydress
Summary: Johnny lost the meaning of his life when he lost Jaehyun.He was left devastated, and he would do anything, anything to get him back by his side.He's bringing him back to life.He didn't want to admit he just did a very, very big mistake.
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 9
Kudos: 36
Collections: NCT Spookfest 2020





	Sometimes Dead is Better

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Ok so... I'm suddenly here because... I got the vibe to write something for Halloween out of nowhere HAHA. I'm a total fan of thrillers and supernatural stories so Halloween ficfest is always a heaven to me! This year I wanted to contribute a bit so... here it is, the story I wrote so I can post it on Oct 31. I hope it's good HAHA
> 
> This is a Stephen King's Pet Sematary AU. The plot is totally altered but the other elements are incorporated in this story. I don't include explanations about some stuff so you might want to read its summary on the Wikipedia before reading, or things may feel out of context.
> 
> This is entirely a work of fiction and please forgive any grammatical errors. Other than that, enjoy!

++

Half of his mind screamed for him to run forward, to outrun the woman in front of him, to quickly acknowledge the truth – but another half constantly pleaded for him to turn around, to run away from the sickening white building, to deny the reality.

Instead he followed the young woman clad in her grey uniform through the eerily silent corridor – Johnny can almost hear his own frantic heart. The walk felt like thousand miles long, and the walls seemed to close on him with every step.

They finally stopped in front of a steel double door, the woman pushing the door open gently.

“Here, Johnny-ssi,” she said with a soft voice – very soft and careful, full of pity – as if she’s afraid of breaking Johnny with her own voice.

He _was_ on the verge of breaking.

She let Johnny enter the room first with timid steps. The room was far too cold for his liking – and the pure white paint, combined with sterile, glossy steel materials were not helping. Even the lighting was too bright it hurt his eyes – and finally, he felt like running away.

The woman once again led him to the second metal table from the corner. A body completely covered with clean, white linen sheets lay upon it, cold and unmoving. She stood on one side of the table and waited—waited for a heartbreaking moment she’d witnessed for hundred times but couldn’t get used to.

Johnny resisted the urge to run through the doors, drive home and never come back – but he raised his trembling hand slowly, reaching to pull down the white cloth. He needed to know. He had to know the truth, to have more proof that none of this was real—

_But it was_.

The soft brown hair, the long, pretty eyelashes, the prominent jaw, the full lips he kissed this morning – all of them were too familiar, too dear and too beautiful – even in _death_.

Johnny could feel his legs crumbling under him, the tears he desperately held in for the past hours streaming down profusely. His chest ached, almost too painful for him to bear—something inside him breaking beyond repair.

“N-no,” he croaked out, “this isn’t real. This is not real, it must be a dream…”

But he couldn’t take his eyes away at the ethereal, yet lifeless beauty in front of him—he couldn’t stop his hands from cradling the cold, unmoving body, he couldn’t stop himself from intertwining his fingers with the still ones. But there was no warmth he’d always seek, there was no loving gaze, there was no childish, delightful smile.

_There’s no more Jung Jaehyun, and Johnny could feel himself gone alongside him._

++

_A victim of homicide_ , the police has stated, _out of robbery_. _The suspect was trying to rob him, and he resisted. But they brought weapons._

It has only been a week, but Johnny felt like it has been forever. The police returned Jaehyun’s belongings two days ago, but he couldn’t even look at the bag. Jaehyun was attacked on his way home from work – and he went down with a single slit on his neck. It was just a single slit, a single slash of the damned knife—but it fatally injured his carotid artery, leaving him no chance of survival. He was announced dead even before Johnny received the call, he was already too far gone when Johnny left the damned meeting room, ignoring his most important project pitching that month.

The black suit and white shirt he wore that day was drenched in blood, nobody could ever know the shirt used to be white. The blood has now dried into an ugly, brownish color, and Johnny felt like throwing up everytime he recalled it – but he couldn’t bring himself to discard the whole bag. It’s the last memory of Jaehyun he had, although it constantly reminded him of the pain; and how he hadn’t been there for him, how he hadn’t been able to save him.

It has been a week since the last time Johnny held him in his arms, and it has been two days since Johnny bid him goodbye for the last time before they descended him six feet under. But the pain hadn’t subsided even a bit.

“Jaehyun-ah, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Nobody blamed Johnny for his sudden passing, not even his parents. But Johnny couldn’t stop muttering thousands of apologies into the empty air of his apartment. He had failed himself. He had failed Jaehyun, and broken his promise to always be there for him. He’d wake up in cold sweats in the middle of the night, and often times, streaks of tears staining his face. Sometimes he dreamed of Jaehyun, Jaehyun who he loved so much, how he held his hands tight, playing with his hair and planting gentle kisses, promising to never let go – but many other times, he dreamed of another Jaehyun, pale and drenched in blood, whispering in a broken voice.

_“Where were you, hyung? Didn’t you know I was suffering, and you weren’t there?”_

That night, after waking up for the nth time, his eyes swollen from too much crying – he stomped out of his apartment and drove to the town two hours away, towards a house he used to frequent just two years ago.

_Yuta. I need to go to Yuta._

++

“Johnny, you _can’t_ do that. You were the one who called me insane, and finally I realized I was, and now you want to—”

“Yuta, _please_ ,” Johnny whimpered towards the Japanese man, his tears threatening to come out once again. “It hurts too much. I can’t let him go, it’s all because of me, it’s all my fault, I can’t live without him—”

“You’re going to regret everything,” Yuta sat down in front of the crying lad, his shoulders shaking from terrible grief.

“I know how it feels like, Johnny, I know it too well. But I _regretted it_. What’s gone should be gone, you should let him go.”

Johnny lifted his head and observed the gruesome scar on the side of Yuta’s face and alongside his arm. Children feared him because of it, and he became the so-called neighbourhood monster—with mothers telling their children to never come close to him.

“Did it hurt?”

“Yeah, it did,” Yuta bit his lower lip, avoiding Johnny’s gaze. “But what hurts the most—”

“But did it hurt compared to when you saw him again?” Johnny cut in, looking sharp into Yuta’s irises, despite his vision blurring from the tears.

Yuta couldn’t bring himself to answer, and there was rage building up inside Johnny’s eyes.

“Did it hurt, compared to when you’re able to hold him again, tell him you’re sorry, tell him you love him?”

“Johnny, please—”

“If you’re not going to help, I’ll do it myself.”

Johnny rose from his seat, his words laced with anger as he stomped back into his car, driving through the dark night.

++

_“Yuta, you’re insane. You’ve gone mad.”_

_But he wasn’t listening to the older. He dragged the heavy cart, his face void from any expression. He didn’t care. It hurt too much, he couldn’t even think he could live anymore._

_Johnny looked at his bestfriend in pure shock, still couldn’t believe what he had done. Yuta’s lover, Sicheng, was found dead exactly a week ago – jumping from his 9 th-floor apartment, leaving no note. Yuta has changed drastically since then, the light in his eyes gone, the playful glint vanished. He wondered where everything went wrong, blaming himself to death, at how he’d failed to make Sicheng happy. That night, Yuta showed up in front of Johnny’s old apartment door, who lived by himself by then – and took him somewhere in his car. Yuta’s miserable complexion and weak pleas had made him gave in, afraid his bestfriend would do something stupid if he didn’t go along. He stayed silent during the car ride, until they stopped in front of a familiar gate on the outskirts of the town they lived in._

_Johnny was still not saying anything until Yuta pulled out a shovel from the back of his car, walked into the cemetery in full silence, and stopped in front of a new headstone – still clean and glinting in the dark. Johnny couldn’t help but start fidgeting when he read Sicheng’s full name carved onto it._

_“I’m sorry, please forgive me…”_

_Yuta whispered in between tears, but then he began to dig, ignoring Johnny’s questions and attempts to stop him. Johnny could feel hair standing on the back of his neck, completely shocked and scared._

_“Hey, Yuta, stop! What are you trying to do?”_

_Yuta didn’t answer, instead pushing Johnny with questionable strength to the ground when the latter tried to stop him from digging. Terrified, but not wanting to leave his bestfriend, fearing for life the younger would do something stupid, Johnny decided to wait—his phone clutched tight in his hand, ready to call the police if something bad happened (as if what’s happening in front of him isn’t bad enough)._

_It was until finally Yuta climbed up with difficulty, Sicheng’s stiff, thankfully still intact, body in his arms._

_“Please forgive me, please forgive me, I can’t live without you…”_

_Johnny desperately held the urge to throw up, when Yuta carefully covered his lover’s dead body with a white bedsheet on the back of his car—as if tucking him in. Half of him wanted to wake up for this nightmare, but another half was curious—curious of what Yuta was trying to achieve. He climbed onto the passenger seat, occasionally stealing glances at Yuta driving the truck through the night, through the thick forest, until they finally stopped._

_And there they were, in a strange place with an eerie atmosphere in the middle of nowhere, two hours from town. Yuta had dug the sandy and rocky ground, deep enough and he finally laid Sicheng’s body there, tears streaming down with apologies flowing out like a train from his lips. He stopped to stare at Sicheng’s peaceful complexion for a while, and Johnny could see a glint of regret in his eyes – although he still couldn’t understand the reason behind his actions._

_What is this place? Why is he putting him here? What is he trying to do?_

_But then, Yuta straightened himself up, wiping his cheeks with his dirty palms—and grabbed the shovel, throwing the soil back down, closing the hole off._

_“What did you just do?” was all Johnny managed to let out after they got back in the car. But Yuta didn’t answer. He stayed silent through the ride back to town, he wasn’t saying anything even when he dropped Johnny back to his apartment. Johnny couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night, his finger hovering over his church’s priest number, contemplating whether he should call him._

_He decided to wait until the morning comes, and took another shower because for some reason—he felt dirty and felonious. He braved himself on, fueling himself with just a cup of coffee and drove to Yuta’s apartment._

_He knocked on the door timidly, his fingers ready to push 911 in his phone when the door opened gently. Strangely, he was met with the old Yuta he used to know – his smile was back, color has come back to his complexion. But Johnny knew something was very, very wrong._

_He caught sight of Dong Sicheng, Yuta’s boyfriend, Yuta’s_ dead _boyfriend, waltzing through the living room as if nothing happened a week ago – but he was different. His skin ashen, a long scar in the form of stitches resided itself on the edge of his forehead, and an evil, sinister energy emanating, even from his shadows._

_“You’ve gone mad, Yuta. I don’t want to get involved with all this demonic shit you’re pulling. I’m out.”_

_Johnny decided his bestfriend had literally went insane, and he didn’t know what cult he got himself involved with, but he needed to stay away from him, from the town. A week later, he moved out of his apartment to the town two hours away, and never heard of Yuta anymore._

++

But there he was.

Johnny buried himself under the sheets as the sun emerged, remembering the ice-cold skin of Jaehyun’s body against him hours ago. He had dug the ground by himself, he had pried out the locks on the prisitine white casket by himself. He had buried the man he loved the most for the second time, all by himself. And now he waited. He cursed himself for calling out Yuta two years ago, he didn’t know it would hurt this much –

Johnny jumped out of his bed when he heard a clink of a porcelain mug against the kitchen counter.

Heart racing, he approached his bedroom door cautiously, his hands trembling as he reached for the doorknob. There were bursts of anticipations and excitements in his mind – but he didn’t want to admit, that most of them were actually _fear_.

He pulled open the wooden door slowly, holding his breath as he lifted his head towards the kitchen, and he could feel tears blossoming in his eyes as a tall figure with the particular soft, brown hair came into view—his hands skillfully brewing coffee in the kitchen.

“J-Jaehyun-ah?”

The figure turned towards him, and _oh my God, it’s really him, it’s Jung Jaehyun_ , the man he loves the most, the man who was forcefully taken away from him, the eyes, the nose, the lips—

_But he’s different._

There was no warm gaze in his eyes. His face no longer held the healthy glow, instead an ashen shade covered every inch of his skin—his cheeks gaunt and angry, and—

There it was on the side of his neck, the slit that had drained him off his own blood. The slit that the doctors had tried to patch up, and tried hard to cover so the family won’t remember his gruesome, untimely death in his own funeral. The slit that had killed him that night. It showed up gloriously from the collar of the white shirt he was buried in—as if mocking Johnny that this might feel like a victory, but death, _death_ had actually defeated him and claimed his soul.

“Hyung, you want some coffee?”

But the honey-like voice was still there, the voice he missed so much—so Johnny gave up and broke down as he enveloped him in a hug, ignoring the lurching feeling inside his stomach.

The cold skin coming contact with him sent shivers down his spine. The lips against his were freezing, and he instantly felt like he just jumped into a frozen lake. The younger man in front of him used to close his eyes, indulging in the moment, encircling his arm around Johnny’s neck everytime he kissed him—but this time, his expression remained stoic, his gaze cold and unloving.

Johnny knew, he just did a very, very big mistake, but Jaehyun’s here, and none of them really matters now.

++

Johnny knew he was being a pathetic hypocrite. He was screaming at his own bestfriend, calling him mad and accusing him for getting involved in a satanic cult two years ago, he even left him to move to another city - when he should've looked for help for Yuta. Yuta got himself involved in a dangerous situation for the grief he couldn't handle - Johnny should've stopped him. Hell, Johnny should've stopped himself. But he would do everything if it meant he could wake up beside Jaehyun again.

Yuta wasn't left unscathed back then. Barely two months after Johnny left him, just barely a month after Johnny met Jaehyun for the first time - he received a phonecall he'd never expected.

It was from the hospital in his old town, and the humble nurse on the other line informed him that Yuta was in critical condition.

Johnny didn't know how they managed to reach him, but he supposed he was Yuta's second speed dial number after Sicheng, considering all his family was away in Japan. He was surprised he didn't even hesitate to ditch Jaehyun on their weekend date and drove straight to his old town - deep down, he knew he still care about Yuta.

His house caught fire, the nurses told him. He suffered severe burns all over his body, and was technically dead for God-knows-how-long before the paramedics managed to get his heart up and beating again. He was in coma for two whole months, and no one expected him to wake up until one day, he opened his eyes.

Johnny was there, and he was scrambling to find the doctor, but Yuta reached for his hand.

"It wasn't Sicheng," he said in a shrill voice, "a demon took over his corpse. I had to stab him in the heart, Johnny, and I had to burn him to ashes."

Yuta was deeply traumatized. Having to kill the person he loved so much with his own hands traumatized him even more than when he found out about Sicheng's death. Johnny, helped by Jaehyun, nursed him back to health - until he was deemed well enough to live by himself. It was not easy. Johnny told him to move along to his town, so they could look after each other - but the latter refused.

"I can never leave this town," he had said, "It still holds way too many memories."

Johnny could only nod solemnly, promising him he was just a call away if he needed anything. They drank, they danced, they laughed together when Johnny invited him to Johnny and Jaehyun’s wedding - but the sad glint stayed permanently in Yuta's eyes. He was never the same.

Johnny should have known. His own bestfriend barely got away from it. Johnny swore Yuta's family must have been keen believers who constantly sent prayers in the shrines back in Japan - that must be what protected him. There's no way he could get away from the demonic curse.

Johnny should have known, but there he was, staring at Jaehyun's cold, sleeping form by his side when his eyes fluttered open.

"Good morning, baby."

His voice was still the same, but there was this ominous tone thickly laced with his words. Johnny blatantly ignored them all. He reached for the gaunt cheeks, caressing them with his hands. He still remembered how he held the younger's stiff features in the hospital mortuary back then - and he shuddered.

_This is better._

_Living with this Jaehyun is better than no Jaehyun at all._

_He's back here. He's here and that's all that matters._

"I'll make breakfast today," Jaehyun said, his lips curving into a smile. Johnny had always loved Jaehyun's smile, the way his nose crinkled and his dimples bloomed. There's a little evil smirk laced to it now, but again, Johnny ignored them all. He nodded, smiling in return as Jaehyun pushed himself up the bed and headed to the kitchen.

Jaehyun has always been a good cook. He would cook a full course of Korean meals everytime they craved for their hometown food, being so many miles away. Johnny thought they're better than any Korean restaurants they found in the US, especially Jaehyun's egg roll.

And there he sat, tears threatening to well up in his eyes as Jaehyun placed a plate of egg roll in front of him, alongside a bowl of spicy noodles. They weren't the best choices for a breakfast, but Johnny loved them so much he grabbed his chopsticks straight away.

"Are you not eating, Jae?"

Jaehyun sat in front of him, his side of table void of any dishes and he slowly shook his head.

"I don't need to." He replied with a small smile, but for some reasons, shivers ran through Johnny's spine. He didn't need to eat. Of course, he didn't need to.

Johnny only managed to nod, before devouring his noodles. Oh God, he wanted to cry, because they still tasted the same. He picked up the egg roll and stuffed it inside his mouth, closing his eyes in delight - when suddenly he tasted something metallic.

He stopped chewing, feeling around the food in his mouth when something sharp prodded at his tongue. It hurt, and Johnny dashed towards the sink, spitting all the food in his mouth as his eyes widened.

His spit was dark red with blood, staining the steel material of his sink - and there, in between his half-chewed food, a small, yet sharp cutter blade lay.

He slowly straightened himself up, his tongue stinging and a thick, metallic taste lingering in his mouth. He spitted out more blood into the sink, and looked back towards the dining table - where Jaehyun was watching him spitting and spluttering, his eyes empty and face void of any expression.

++

It didn’t stop there.

Truthfully, there were way too many freak accidents that almost put his life in danger—but Johnny decided to ignore them all. He decided to ignore the wardrobe that suddenly break apart when he was looking for his shirt, he ignored the kitchen knife that almost stabbed his foot as it fell when he helped Jaehyun to cook, he ignored the numerous times he found sharp blades and needles in his food.

On top of it all, he decided to ignore how Jaehyun was always nearby everytime those accidents happen—and he was always watching him, with no intent to help, his eyes empty and void of any expression.

It became even worse and worse these days, when he’d always wake up in the middle of the night from the same nightmare—it was Jaehyun, hovering over him on his bed, his eyes full of rage. The kitchen knife clutched tight in his hand, raised over his head with the most wicked expression Johnny could ever seen—but everytime he swung with full force, ready to slice through Johnny’s throat—he’d always wake up in cold sweats, gasping for air. And the reason he’d believed everything was a nightmare, was because Jaehyun was always there, lying beside him on the bed—although again, he was always _watching_.

There were a lot of times when he was away at work, knowing deep inside that the Jaehyun in his home _was not Jaehyun_. But then the scene back in the hospital would play back in his head—how the nurse unveiled the white linen cloth, how Jaehyun’s lifeless, _dead_ body came into view, how he held the cold, stiff body in his arms, screaming so many whys into the empty air. Those little accidents meant nothing if it meant he’d get to be with Jaehyun again.

It was until that morning, when the bell to his apartment suddenly rang and he was way beyond dumbfounded when he opened the door.

“Y—Yuta?”

“Johnny, I’m so worried—” he exclaimed, stealing glances towards his apartment—gasping softly when he caught sight of Jaehyun in the living room.

“John, I told you not to!” he whispered, but Johnny pulled him inside his entryway.

“Johnny, God, you fucked up, this is so fucked up, you’re going to regret it—”

“You don’t understand, I was so fucking devastated—”

“Of course I understand!” Yuta said angrily under his breath, keeping their volume low. “Don’t you dare tell me I don’t understand! I almost fucking _died_ , Johnny, and you said I don’t understand? It’s not Jaehyun! A demon possessed his body when you buried him there! And do you know what it wants? It wants you. It wants your soul! He’s going to _kill you,_ Johnny!”

Johnny fell silent. _It wants your soul._ Hell, he couldn’t even deny any of Yuta’s words. The blades inside his soup, the knife falling on his foot, he might have lost it if his reflexes weren’t quick enough—the shelves falling on his head.

“We have to get rid of him, Johnny,” Yuta continued, his gaze softened into pity. Johnny gulped.

“H—how?”

“We have to—we have to stab his heart, then we have to burn his body.”

“No way,” he stammered, “there’s no way I’m killing Jaehyun, Yuta—”

“Johnny, look at me!” Yuta grabbed his face, forcing him to look at the other—the damaged skin on his face, the way Yuta could never open his right eye again.

“Johnny, it’s not him,” he repeated, “Jaehyun has died a month ago. You saw him in the hospital, you gave a eulogy on his funeral. But you _dug him out_ and buried him in the damned ancient burial site, Johnny. That place is cursed. Everything buried there will come back to life, possessed by demons that only want people dead, Johnny. And it’s way easier for them, because you basically _gave them_ the body of your loved one for them to use. For them to lure you, eventually to death. And they finally drag your soul to hell with them.”

Johnny didn’t realize tears were already flowing down his cheeks. He sobbed quietly, afraid Jaehyun would hear them.

“The dead can never come back, Johnny,” Yuta continued, his voice broken, “Jaehyun was never back here. He’s gone, he’s gone and you have to let him go.”

Johnny couldn’t answer. Sheer realization hit him like a truck. Fuck, the dead _could never come back_. In his fragile state, he let his own mind to believe all kinds of things that could mend the pain—even things that involved demonic force. Anything, anything that could keep the love of his life by his side.

“Johnny, we don’t have much time.”

Yuta’s fingers were tapping at his side, and Johnny looked up.

“Can you hear that?”

He stopped sobbing, wiping his eyes with the back of his hands—he could hear it. It was Jaehyun’s voice, Jaehyun’s used-to-be honey-like voice, humming to a spine-chilling melody—followed with the sound of a kitchen knife against a sharpening steel.

++

They had tip-toed to Johnny’s bedroom, careful not to make any noise. Yuta was looking around the room for any weapon they could use, before settling down for the table lamp, taking off the lamp shade.

It was when suddenly the wooden door cracked with force, the tip of a knife protruding in the middle.

Johnny quickly grabbed the other table lamp as he and Yuta took position right before the door. The cracking wasn’t stopping. Someone— _Jaehyun_ —was hitting the door repeatedly—with such a questionable force that could make a wooden door splintering.

They braced themselves as the lock began to give away—Yuta bravely stood at the very front.

The door busted open to reveal Jaehyun— _no, not Jaehyun_ , but the demon who took over his body—with the evilest look in his eyes. His lips slowly curled into a malicious grin, eyeing them like a predator eyed its prey.

“You brought me back because you can’t afford to lose me, hmm?” Jaehyun suddenly said, the sinister look not leaving his features. “Then let’s be together, Johnny. Let’s be together where I belong.”

He suddenly charged, the knife in his hand, ready to maul anyone in front of him—but Yuta was quick enough. He smashed the lamp against his head, the ceramic breaking into pieces and Jaehyun stumbled back. Something liquid streamed down his temple—hell, it was supposed to be blood, but it was pitch black.

They charged back towards the living room, Yuta aiming for the knife in his hand as Johnny tackled him into a headlock, pressing hard to cut off any circulation. The latter was thrashing, and God, Jaehyun was never this strong. Before Johnny could anticipate it, he was thrown towards the kitchen, the back of his head hitting the counter before he landed to the floor in a heap.

His vision was adorned with stars, and everything was blurry—but Johnny forced himself up to a sitting position. Something warm trickled down his nape, but he couldn’t care less—not when Jaehyun had Yuta against the wall, his neck in his grip—strangling him.

“You were in touch with me before,” Jaehyun said, but his voice was different—it was shrill, otherworldly frightening. “Nakamoto Yuta. You should thank your family because their prayers managed to ward me off. But this time, I’m not going to lose my grip on you, before devouring that pathetic lover.”

Yuta’s face was red, a sickening shade of purple beginning to crawl in—and Jaehyun was swinging the knife in his hand, ready to strike. Johnny grabbed another knife on the counter, entirely relying on adrenaline as he pushed himself up. He couldn’t be late.

He closed his eyes as he could feel the knife piercing through flesh and bone. He thrusted in deep, until only the hilt was visible—before twisting it to ensure damage. Jaehyun’s grip on Yuta went lax—the latter fell to the floor, but Jaehyun reached for Johnny’s collar.

He saw Jaehyun, _the real Jaehyun_ , for a second. His features bear a thankful expression, and a genuine, sad smile, as if whispering goodbye. But then he changed back to the _demon_ Jaehyun, his eyes still full of evil even as the tip of the knife protruded from his chest, gushing pitch-black liquid all over. He was gripping at Johnny’s collar, but soon later his knees gave away and he toppled to the floor, empty eyes staring into nothingness.

It hurt.

Johnny stared at his own hands, because fuck, he just _killed_ the person he loved the most, the person he swore would protect forever. He knew it was never him, but at the same time _it was him,_ and it was way beyond traumatizing to his sight, to his mind. He dropped down to the floor, when he heard choking sounds from behind him.

_Yuta._

“Yuta,” he crawled towards his bestfriend, his legs no longer held the strength to support him. God, he was drenched in blood, the knife in Jaehyun’s hand earlier residing itself in his sternum. Of course. Of course it’s impossible for Johnny to get out of this entirely unscathed—there must be a sacrifice to make, and Johnny was going to be traumatized for life, because his bestfriend would die because of him.

“Yuta,” he whimpered, tears welling up in his eyes. “No, Yuta, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—"

“Don’t be sorry,” Yuta stammered, blood trickling down his lips. “I’m happy you’re brave enough, Johnny. Make sure to burn his body so no other demon nor lost soul can claim him again.”

“I’m sorry, Yuta, if only I listened to you—”

“Stop, don’t be sorry, Johnny,” he coughed, “Now I get to be with Sicheng, remember? My Sicheng.”

Johnny could only cry harder as he heard Yuta’s words.

“It’s not going to be easy for the years coming,” he continued, gasping. “But I hope you hold on until you can meet Jaehyun again, Johnny. Until you can meet him again in the afterlife, and you can finally be together until forever ends.”

He could only nod as he cradled his bestfriend’s body in his arms, not letting go even as the latter went limp. He didn’t know how many hours has passed when he finally turned to Jaehyun. His dear Jaehyun, the man he loved with all his heart, the man he failed for the second time because of his selfish ego, and he didn’t know if he’s going to be fine after this.

++

_2060_

Johnny took another deep breath. Even with the help of the machines, he was still struggling to breathe, and the heart monitor kept stuttering now and then. He was dying, he knew it, as he looked at his old, wrinkly arm, full of needles and tubes.

He lived all by himself after the incident. They buried Yuta right beside Sicheng, and he couldn’t bring himself to tell Jaehyun’s family about the whole incident. About how the grave they buried him in was already empty, and Jaehyun’s body was burnt to nothing but ashes, all because of him. He kept the secrets all to himself, and he couldn’t bring himself to find someone new, let alone remarry.

Instead he lived in loneliness for the next forty years, the wedding ring never left his finger even as he lay on his deathbed. He held on, because Yuta wanted him to. Yuta, who was sacrificed, again, because of his selfish ego.

The heart monitor was stuttering again, skipping several beats—and Johnny closed his eyes. _This is it. This is the end._

He opened them back to see Jaehyun, _Jung Jaehyun_ , his nose crinkling and his dimples blooming with the brightest smile. His cheeks were full and peach-like, complete with the rosy blush—his skin radiating a healthy glow, his neck void of any scar. He was beautiful, even more beautiful than Johnny remembered him to be.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he said with his honey-like voice, his hand stretched out for Johnny to take. Johnny smiled his happiest smile in the last forty years, and he took his hand.

++

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are really appreciated ~  
> Please let me know what you think!
> 
> Thank you for reading ♡


End file.
